


300 Miles Away

by catheravery



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Arguing, Drunk Texting, Exes, F/F, Friends With Benefits, Implied Sexual Content, No Lesbians Die, Ouch, References to Depression, Self-Doubt, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26464450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catheravery/pseuds/catheravery
Summary: Catra, back at school for the fall, finds herself missing her ex-girlfriend Adora a little too much.Modern AU, Exes/Friends With Benefits, College AUCatradora fic with mentions of Scorfuma and Glimbow.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Perfuma/Scorpia (She-Ra)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 143





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys i have not written in a long long time so if this writing sucks i apologize!! it'll also be pretty short. just wanted to put something out there bc im bored and thought why not!! lmk if u enjoy!!

Catra sat on her bed, looking at the posters on her dorm wall. She traced the outlines with her hand.

Boring.

It was the weekend of her third week of sophomore year, and things had not yet begun to pick up in her classes. The music blared— not loud enough that it would wake her neighbors but loud enough so that she couldn’t really hear anything else. Scorpia was still at work or at Perfuma’s or… _something_. Catra couldn’t remember. 

“You know, this really is on you for not making more friends your first year.” Adora’s voice rang in her head. Did she really say that? No. But everything Catra could think about just led to her. _She broke up with you months ago, Catra. Get it together! She obviously hasn’t thought about me since she got to school. Why am I wasting all my time on her when she wouldn’t waste a second on me?_ The door unlocked and Catra shot up out of bed. Scorpia burst in, hand in hand with her girlfriend, Perfuma. 

“Heya Wildcat! What have you been doing since I left for the afternoon?”

“Hey Scorpia. I haven’t done anything.”

“Well, uh, Perfuma and I were just gonna watch a movie if you want to join!”

Catra jumped down from her bed. _The damn thing is way too high-up._ “Yeah, sure. Sounds good.” 

She grabbed her shower caddy and walked to the bathroom to change. As she looked at herself in the mirror. 

_God, you’re pathetic._

She took off her shirt and checked herself out. Not great, but her body image wasn’t _completely_ shit. Brushing her teeth, her eyes instantly went towards every physical imperfection. Every tiny pimple, every blemish, every scar, everything that wasn’t where it was supposed to be. She wrapped her hair in a bun and threw on her pajamas— an old t-shirt from high school and comfortable shorts. _This is why Adora doesn’t love you anymore. Look at yourself. You should feel lucky that she ever went for you in the first place._

“Why can’t I stop thinking about Adora?” Catra yelled in frustration. She hurriedly picked her discarded clothes off of the floor and hurried back to her dorm room, where Scorpia and Perfuma were cuddling on Scorpia’s bed, whispering to each other. 

“All good in there?” Scorpia inquired. “I thought I heard you say something.”

“I’m fine.” Catra grumbled. 

“Alrighty then! We’re just gonna pick a movie. Any suggestions?”

“Nope.” Catra jumped into bed. “Put on whatever you guys want.”

“Okay!” Perfuma chimed in. “And don’t worry, we won’t be _those people_. I know couples can be gross sometimes, but we wanted to not make things weird for you! Because, you know, you’re-”

“Single. I get it. Thanks, Perfuma.”

Perfuma looked embarrassed. “Oh, I didn’t mean it that way!”

“No, it’s fine. Just pick a movie.”

Scorpia nodded and she and Perfuma scrolled through the selections as Catra rolled over in bed, looking at her pictures from home. There was her and Scorpia together, her and Entrapta and Hordak… and then that one.

The picture of her, Glimmer, Bow, and Adora. 

_Adora. We were so happy back then. All I want is to be with her right now, watching whatever shitty movie Scorpia ends up picking. I love her and I’m glad she’s happy, and Perfuma is a great friend too, but it’s… a lot._

“Catra!” Scorpia called out. “Are you good with watching But I’m A Cheerleader?”

“We get it, you’re gay. Do you have to bring that up in your movie taste, too?”

“I hate to break it to you, Wildcat, but you literally have the lesbian flag on your wall.”

“Fair.” Catra shrugged. “Yeah, sure. Put it on.”

As the movie played, her eyes wandered from the screen. Scorpia and Perfuma just seemed so… happy. _But they started dating a year after Adora and I did. They’re still going strong._ They cuddled and occasionally turned to give each other a peck on the cheek or the forehead, but stayed pretty focused on the movie the whole time. Catra tried to distract herself from it by sending her Snapchat streaks, hoping that maybe one day Adora would see her blank screen and be compelled to think about her. But it didn’t work. It wasn’t enough. _Ugh. Couples. I know I was definitely worse than this with Adora, but seriously? I get that if I weren’t here it would’ve been a whole lot worse, but this seems pretty bad._ But it wasn’t the PDA. It was the romance. It was the love. It was the little things that make you know you genuinely care about the other person… And Catra knew that she didn’t have that anymore. 

_She’s probably having the time of her life with Glimmer and Bow and I won’t even cross her mind once. But either way, I’m glad she’s happy. She must be, because if she's not then what the fuck is all of this for?_

Drifting to sleep, she tried not to think about it for the fiftieth time that day. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra hears from Adora for the first time in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im updating this again because it's short and i'm bored. again, not the best writing but i hope u enjoy nonetheless

“We’re gonna go. Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” Scorpia asked one night.

Catra was still in her bed. Alone. 

“Nah, I don’t wanna intrude with you and your friends. Go ahead without me.” 

Scorpia nodded and she left to go to Perfuma and her roommates’ house party. Catra stared at the wall again and sighed.  _ If I’m gonna be alone on a Friday night, I might as well drink.  _ She opened the drawer and pulled out a can of hard seltzer. She finished the can in a few minutes, checking her phone periodically.  _ No new messages. Shocker.  _ Opening Snapchat, she sent her streaks as she had done every night. Just a photo of the wall.  _ What do I do now? Just fall asleep a little tipsy? Maybe I just should’ve gone to Perfuma’s party.  _

_ Ding! _

_ Probably just Scorpia updating me.  _

Snapchat from: Adora

Catra fell off her bed.  _ Adora??? Responding???  _ Her heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. Her face got hot and she quickly opened the snap. It was just a picture of her face, but that was enough.

_ How should I look when I respond? What do I even say? Do I even respond at all? I don’t want to keep her waiting. It could have been a mistake! _

“SOS.” She texted Scorpia. “Just got a snap from Adora. Respond ASAP.”

She decided to just send a picture of herself back. Unassuming. Just neutral. But she couldn’t help but feel confused and excited. This was the second time they even spoke since they broke up, but the first time… she was told not to tell anyone about the first time. As far as Adora was concerned, nothing happened and they might as well have not talked since the breakup at all. It had been a month since then. This was big.  _ Or it could’ve been a mistake. _

_ Ding! _

“Again?” Catra spoke out loud. She opened another can of seltzer and read Adora’s response: “Ur sp cute wtf”.

_ Oh. She’s drunk. That makes a lot more sense. Why would she think about me sober? _ Catra debated just leaving her on opened, but it’s Adora.  _ I need to see her again, even if she would hate this if she were sober. _ Maybe it’s because she was a little tipsy herself, or maybe it was just the way she wanted to see Adora again, but she sent a snap back.

“So are you!! How are you doing at school?” 

Adora sent back a picture of her face, sad. “I wish you weren’t 300 miles away” (sent with a bunch of kissing emojis)

Catra’s face grew hot.  _ I thought she was done with me. I thought she never wanted to see me again.  _ Warily, and a little drunkenly, she responded again, this time with a picture of her.

“Me too!!! U r also very cute! <3” 

Catra waited eagerly. One minute went by. Then two. Then three. She was about to give up, but then—

_ Ding! _

Racing to her phone, Catra checked what Adora had to say next. The picture was a closeup of her face, but the text read “I fsdikslil lsiejoviede iy”.

_ Right. That’s not confusing. But it sure is cute. _

_ Ding!  _ A text! 

This time, the text came from Scorpia. “Catra. Don’t respond to her. You know how bad she hurt you!”

“Kk I won’t!” Catra texted back.  _ Do I feel bad about lying? A little. But it’s Adora we’re talking about. _

Adora. Her drug. The one who can never get off her mind. Her first love. Her only love.  _ Should I keep this going? Should I just not answer? She’s bad for me. She broke my heart. But I love her… That’s it. I’m doing it.  _

“What do you mean?” She responded to Adora’s opened snap. 

No response.  _ That’s reasonable. She’s probably out with Glimmer and Bow right now. I hope she’s safe. I know how reckless she is and it would suck if she got hurt. _

The rest of the night, Catra went about her business while managing to stop everything every two minutes to look at her phone. No answer from Adora.  _ Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe she thought she was snapping someone else. _ She paced around the entire room. She finally hung up the picture of her cat, Melog, up on the wall. She ate some pizza rolls from her fridge. Still no answer. Defeated, Catra slumped into bed, alone.

As always. 

As morning came, Catra woke up with a massive headache. Groaning, she glanced to the empty bed next to her, realizing that Scorpia likely stayed the night at Perfuma’s. Getting out of bed, she checked her phone. Text from Scorpia, snap from Glimmer, text from Adora, snap from Bow-

_ Hang on a second. _

_ Adora? _

_ So it wasn’t a dream? She really talked to me? ...What does she want now? Is she mad at me?  _

  
Catra felt like she was going to be sick— and not just because she was hungover. 

“Hey.” Adora texted. “I literally don’t remember anything from last night, but I’m sorry for whatever I sent you. I hope it wasn’t too bad.” 

Catra’s eyes widened. “No it’s okay! I hope you’re feeling alright. I know I’m a little hungover too.”

A text bubble appeared. _She’s typing._ _That’s something._

“You know, next time you don’t have to answer.”

Her heart sank. “It’s no problem!” She texted back.  _ I can’t show her that I still have feelings for her. That’s weird. She thinks I’m fine with all of this.  _

“Thanks, Catra.”

“Anytime!!!”

No response. Catra dejectedly got back up into bed and screamed into her pillow. “How could I have been so stupid? Of  _ course _ she doesn’t still like me? Why would she?”  _ I should’ve known that there was no hope. Especially after what happened this summer.  _

Closing her eyes, she dejectedly went back to sleep. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Scorpia call Glimmer one night.

_ I can’t stop thinking about that night. Why did she talk to me and then go back to how it was? Was it just because she was drunk and horny? Probably. But what if there’s something else? _

“Catra.”

_ Does she still have feelings for me? Or is she only still attracted to me physically? I can’t ask her about it. Why am I still thinking about this? It’s been two weeks. Or something. What am I gonna do if I ever see her again? Run? I should probably run.  _

“Catra?”

_ I can’t escape her! Even when I think I’m done with her, I dream about her! My subconscious is set to Adora mode and I need to get out. But I love her. But she can’t know that. Ugh. Why is everything so complicated? We could’ve just- _

“Hellooooo??? Earth to Catra!” Scorpia’s voice finally got through, shaking Catra out of bed. “I’m gonna video chat with Glimmer. Do you want to join?”

Catra’s ears perked up.  _ Glimmer? Maybe I’ll get a little glimpse of her roommate!  _ “Yeah, alright. That sounds fun.” She stretched and hopped off of her bed, checking in the mirror to make sure she looked alright.  _ Could have an encounter. _ She climbed up into Scorpia’s bed as Scorpia dialed in Glimmer’s number. The phone rang for a few seconds, but eventually connected to reveal their old friend sitting on the couch in her apartment. 

“Hey guys!” Glimmer smiled. “How’re you doing?” 

“Glimmer! It’s so good to see you!” Scorpia waved. “I’m doing swell. Wildcat over here hasn’t left her bed all day.”

“What? It’s a Saturday. And it’s not like I have any homework to do.”

“Okay, grumpypants. So Glimmer, any big Saturday night plans?”

Glimmer shook her head. “Nope! Bow and Adora went to a party but I have to finish a project for my psych class, so unfortunately I’m gonna be doing that for most of the night.”

Catra’s eyes widened as Glimmer spoke  _ her _ name. “Oh, and, um… what party?”

“I don’t really remember.” Glimmer responded while gluing a piece of styrofoam to a piece of felt. “Some kind of student government thing.”

An image flashed through Catra’s mind— one of Adora meeting a beautiful girl at this party, asking her to hang out, and then they fall in love stay together forever and get married and how she won’t even be  _ invited  _ to the wedding because this new hot college girl heard about how much of a bitch she was. Fear struck her. Glimmer must have caught onto that, because she instantly dropped the topic of she-who-will-not-be-named.

“Scorpia, how’s Perfuma? Tell her I say hi!”

“She’s doing GREAT! Our one-year anniversary is gonna be soon, so I’m trying to plan the perfect anniversary dinner!”

“Oooooh!’ Glimmer’s eyes sparkled. “You have to tell me all about it! Bow and I can help if you want! He made me pasta last week and it was so good.” 

_ Great. More couples talk and no Adora. She’s probably making out with that party girl right now.  _ Scorpia and Glimmer went on and on about how great their significant others were, until Catra decided that enough was enough and tried to change the subject. “So, Glimmer, give us an apartment tour! Let’s see your place!” 

Just as she said that, Catra heard a door burst open. “Glimmer!” Bow’s voice yelled. “Adora’s not feeling so hot.”  _ Adora! _ Glimmer left her camera where it was, but Catra could hear Adora groaning. 

“Bow, sweetie, bring her to the bathroom and tighten up her ponytail. Make sure she’s able to get it all out.”

“Alright! I’m on it!” Bow stated, a little too matter-of-factly to be completely sober. 

“Thanks, honey!” Glimmer returned to the camera. “Catra… what are you doing?”

“What?”

“You’re sitting really close up to the camera right now.”   
  


“Oh!” Catra sheepishly returned to her position next to Scorpia. “That’s weird. I don’t know why I did that.”

Glimmer was not having any of it. “Liar. You have to let Adora go. You’ll be a lot happier when you actually do. I love you both dearly, but if you’re stuck on her forever then that’ll just make you more upset.”

Adora began to vomit in the background. “Glimmer!” Bow yelled. “It’s happening!”

Glimmer rolled her eyes. “Bow, you can talk to Catra and Scorpia. I’ll handle Adora.” After she left the shot, Bow ran onto the screen.”

“Scorpia! Catra! Heyyyyy!” He laughed. “How’s sophomore year?” 

“It. Is. Great!” Scorpia glowed. “My classes are going well, I get to see my girlfriend all the time, and I get to room with my favorite little Wildcat!” Scorpia said, hugging Catra a little too tight. “What about you?”

Bow giggled as he heard Adora throw up again, this time guided by Glimmer’s comments of “You’re doing great!” in the background. “I’m absolutely golden, thank you for asking! I just got back from a party at Seahawk’s and it was SO FUN! We had to leave early, because, you know, someone got a liiiiiiiittle too partied out!” 

Glimmer walked back over to Bow and kissed him on the cheek. “Oh my gosh! This is my girlfriend!” Bow smiled. “I love her!” He wrapped her in a big hug and she smiled at him, looking madly in love.  _ It’s cute, but it makes me sick.  _

“You two are just  _ adorable! _ ” Scorpia fawned. “If I ever bring Perfuma up to your school, we have to double date!”

“Yeah let’s do that!” Bow nodded. 

_ Not enough Adora talk for me. Wait…  _ “Hey, Glimmer?” Catra asked.

“Yeah?”

“What’s Adora doing?” She saw the looks of disappointment from both Scorpia and Glimmer and hastily added on- “Just because, you know, she seemed sick, and uh, as a friend, in a friendly way, I just wanted to check up to see if she’s alright now.”

Glimmer narrowed her eyes. “Fine. I’ll believe you. And she got it all out of her system so now she’s passed out on the bathroom floor.”

“Can you maybe just put her in her bed so she can sleep for the rest of the night?”

Glimmer’s expression softened. “Oh. That’s actually a good idea. She’ll be pretty grateful for that. Bow, can you do me a favor and tuck Adora into bed for me?” 

Springing into action, Bow ran off-camera. 

“Glimmer-” Catra interjected. “Can you maybe  _ not _ mention to Adora that I was on video chat tonight? Or that I had that idea of putting her in bed? I don’t want it to be weird.”  _ Or weirder than it already is, _ she added to herself.

Glimmer grinned. “Of course. Now I think I have to go now, so I can get Bow to go to sleep before he wakes up our downstairs neighbors.” Bow came on camera and whined. 

“Why do I have to go to bed?”

“You’re being  _ loud _ , Bow.”

“Can you at least cuddle with me?”

“Yes, of course I can.”

“Yay!” 

Bow kissed Glimmer sloppily. “Bye guys!”

“See you later.” Glimmer added, before turning off the call. 

_ At least I got to hear her,  _ Catra thought to herself as she went to sleep that night. _Adora, if you can somehow hear me telepathically this far away, I hope you sleep well. I miss you. I love you._


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened in the summer? You'll find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in one day because i'm bored. thank you for reading!!

_Nothing feels the same_. Catra spent her morning scrolling through the usual dating apps. There were some cute girls on there. She got some matches. Feeling particularly inspired to converse, she messaged one of her matches:

“Hey. What’s up?”

The girl responded quickly. “Oh, nothing much! Just doing homework haha. What about you?”

In that moment, Catra was not as inspired. She left the girl on read and turned over in bed. She couldn’t stop thinking about Adora. That one drunk Snapchat. Their first kiss. Their first trip together. And _that night._ She couldn’t stop thinking about that one night.

It was early August, three months since Adora broke it off with her. Catra was absolutely not over it, even though she hadn’t even seen Adora’s face since the breakup. But Bow was having a birthday party, and his dads weren’t home, so Catra figured that one possible chance encounter with Adora couldn’t hurt. _Oh, how wrong I was._

Catra showed up to the party with Scorpia, who was preoccupied with texting Perfuma updates of everything that went on that summer. _Those two really don’t know how to be apart for three months without tearing each other up_. Catra decided to wear a button-down shirt tucked into shorts with a black belt, a pretty unassuming getup. As they walked in, it seemed as if the party was already in full swing. Bow ran over to the pair, Glimmer on his back. 

“You guys made it! I really thought you weren’t gonna come. Especially you, Catra, after the whole Adora situation-” 

“Bow!” Glimmer shouted. “Ixnay on the eakupbray alktay! We’re glad you both could make it! Drinks are in the kitchen, and you can hang out outside or in the basement or in the living room!” They ran back to the basement, giggling, as Scorpia got a call from Perfuma. 

“Heya Wildcat! I’m gonna go take this outside. You have fun in there and I’ll totally drive you home!” She walked out the front door, leaving Catra alone. She warily walked over to the tub of jungle juice and poured herself a cup. After filling it up to the brim, she turned to go downstairs but tripped over an empty beer can. 

“I got you!” She heard, as she was caught before she could hit the ground. Turning around and looking up, she realized it was Adora. The pair looked at each other and instantly separated. Adora seemed to already be a few drinks in.

“Catra.” She nodded, showing no emotion. 

“Hey, Adora.”

An awkward silence. “I’m gonna go get some more juice.” Catra quickly spoke, bright red and covered in liquid. “I’ll see you around.” _Wow, that went… horribly._ Catra walked back over to the jungle juice and immediately walked downstairs to drown her problems in alcohol. 

Thirty minutes later, Catra was stumbling everywhere. She was actually dancing to the music— something rare for her. She was having a good time for the first time in a while, but then _she_ appeared again. Adora. Adora was also pretty drunk, as Catra could tell from that unfocused look in her eyes. 

“Catra!” She yelled. “Catra, come over here!” 

“Me?” 

“Yeah, you! I want to talk to you!”

Catra smiled wider than ever and ran over to Adora. “Heyyyyyyy. What’s up?”

Adora looked into her eyes and grabbed her shoulders. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“What?”

“I am sooooooo fucking sorry for what I did to you! You deserve all the love and attention and everything and shit but like I was a piece of shit sometimes so I’m sorry. If it’s any consolation though?? I would still totally fuck the shit out of you.”

Catra hugged her. “Omg! I would totally do that too!”

Adora pulled away and thought for a second. “Like.... as friends though, right? Like just fucking as friends? No feelings involved?”

Catra stared at her for what seemed to be an eternity. “Yes, absolutely one hundred percent.”

Next thing she knew, they snuck out of Bow’s house and ran to Adora’s car. Catra slammed the back seats down and started undoing her belt as Adora kissed her and kissed her hard. _This is exactly what I was missing._ _Adora, me, and no one else._ She watched in awe as Adora took off her shirt. Catra ran her hands down Adora’s body, unhooking her bra as Adora kissed her neck. “Come here,” she growled, bringing Adora’s lips back up to hers. Adora let out a pleased sigh as she grabbed Catra’s arms with one hand, pinning them down as her other hand explored Catra’s body for the first time in months. “Oh, that’s new.” Catra inquired. 

“Yeah, I’ve been training for when we could do this again.” Adora smirked. 

“I like it.”

“Do me a favor though, will you, Catra?”  
  


“Anything.” Catra breathily gasped between kisses. 

“Don’t tell anyone about this, okay? Tonight was a secret.”

Catra couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. _But hey, this is Adora you’re talking to. You’re fucking Adora again. And it’s worth more than anything in the entire world._

  
Sitting in her dorm room once again, Catra couldn’t help but think about what happened that night. But worse was what happened after— when she saw Adora at one of Frosta’s parties the next week and she pretended that she didn’t exist and nothing happened. It was radio silence until those snaps. _How does she feel about me? Is it just physical attraction? Is it something more?_ Burying her head in her pillow again, she groaned. _We’re three hundred miles apart. Why can’t I stop thinking about that one night? Why is it so difficult to tell with her now?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra can't take it anymore.

Catra had no one to turn to now. Thoughts of Adora and what happened were eating her alive, but she had no one to talk to about it. The only other person who knew was Adora herself, and there’s no way she was going to want to talk to her.  _ She’s embarrassed of you,  _ she thought.  _ Adora is too good for you and you would only drag her down. That’s why she told you not to tell anyone. She doesn’t want to be seen as a bad person. She’s not a bad person! She did do some shitty things to me, but she’s Adora for Pete’s sake! _ Not a minute went by when the name Adora didn’t come up in her head. Or Adora’s beautiful face. Or her silky blonde hair. Or her perfect, muscular figure. Or- 

“AAAAAAAAAGH!” Catra exploded. “Why can’t I stop?”

Scorpia, who had been talking on the phone, took a headphone out and looked over at Catra. “Woah. Everything good, Wildcat?”

Catra looked at her with tears in her eyes. She shook them away and turned to the other side of the bed. “Peachy.”

“Come on, Catra. I can tell when you’re bluffing. Something’s up.”

“I can’t tell you.” She hugged her pillow, still refusing to look Scorpia in the eye. 

“Come on! I’m your roommate. You can tell me anything.”

“Fine! Adora and I hooked up again at Bow’s party! We were both drunk but it happened. She told me not to tell anyone and obviously I didn’t because I’m still in love with her, well, I mean, I guess I didn’t tell anyone before this, because now you know and the other night she implied that she still thought I was cute and it gave me hope. I don’t want to have hope anymore. Can’t she just cut me off completely already? This is the third time. I need it to be over.” It all came rushing out of her. She began to choke through tears as she explained further. “And I don’t know what to do because I can’t stop thinking about her-”

“Uh… Catra?” Scorpia looked nervous, but Catra didn’t notice. 

“And I know she broke up with me because she didn’t love me anymore, like, I know that but for some reason I can’t accept it because she’s like the best thing that ever happened to me-”

“Catra?”

“It’s stupid! I’m stupid! I’m so stupid for loving her this much and I can’t take it anymore! I don’t know what to do!”

“Catra.”

“What, Scorpia?  _ What _ could possibly be so important?”

“So, I, uh, I did a bad thing. Like, a  _ reeeeally  _ bad thing just now. And I take full responsibility for it, but you’re not going to like it.”

Catra sniffled. “Nothing could make this moment particularly worse, so I really think that it’s not that important.”

“No; it’s  _ bad. _ ”

Catra rolled her eyes.

_ Ding! _

“Can you pass me my phone?” Catra grumbled. “I just got a text.”

“Catra, I said I’m sorry. Don’t check your phone. Please.”

“What? Did you  _ already  _ tell Perfuma or something?” Scorpia held her breath and showed Catra her phone, where Glimmer was on video chat. And Bow. The three all had the same look on their face: complete and utter horror. But that wasn’t all… Glimmer and Bow were looking  _ at _ something off-screen. And then it dawned on Catra. They weren’t looking at some _ thing _ . They were looking at some _ one _ . 

“Scorpia. Give me the phone.” Gulping, Scorpia slowly handed Catra her phone from the desk. She turned it on, and her worst fears were realized. 

A text from Adora. “What the fuck, Catra? I told you not to tell anyone.”

Catra was speechless. She didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry.” She responded, before throwing her phone on the floor. Swiftly walking over to her closet, she ripped a jacket off the hanger and threw it on, lacing up her sneakers afterward. 

Scorpia got up from her chair. “Catra, come on. What are you doing? Where are you going?” 

“Out.” 

“Catra-”

She slammed the door and ran down the stairs and out of her building. Trying to fight back tears, she walked as fast as she could. Catra didn’t know what to do or where to go, but she couldn’t face her again.  _ I ruined everything, _ she thought.  _ She hates me now. It’s all my fault.  _ She rushed past people walking and talking downtown, trying to not bring any attention to herself.  _ I’m sorry, Adora. I broke your trust. I told someone about that night and now it’s never going to happen again and I’m never gonna get you back.  _ Finding a small alley in a relatively abandoned part of town, she snuck in between the two shops and sat on the ground. 

  
Her tears were flowing now. It seemed as if she couldn’t stop crying even if she tried— as if once she stopped crying, there would be nothing left of her. But there was practically nothing left.  _ Without her, who am I?  _ She looked up at the stars. They looked so pretty. She remembered her first date with Adora when they had a picnic to watch the sunset one summer night. Adora pointed out the constellations and kissed her forehead right before they went back to the car. But now, Catra saw no constellations. All she saw were tiny bits of light in an endless expanse of darkness.  _ Appropriate.  _ She laughed to herself.  _ Except there’s no light in my night sky anymore. _ She shivered in the cold.  _ It’s just not worth it anymore. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen y'all wanted an exes au so this one is not on me


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catra is upset :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! sorry i haven't updated in a while— there's a bunch of personal stuff going on. this will not be the last chapter, bc i realized that i have a lot to write to resolve the story. hopefully i can get chapter 7/7 to you guys soon, though! hope y'all enjoy

Catra didn’t really get out of bed anymore. She wouldn’t respond to Scorpia whenever she tried to talk to her. In fact, she didn’t respond to anyone anymore. She skipped most of her classes, and even when she found the energy to get up and go she didn’t really pay attention. Days turned into weeks. She didn’t go home for Thanksgiving. She didn’t feel like it. Finally, the time that she had been dreading finally came— winter break. Catra slung a few things in a backpack and trudged out to Scorpia’s car. Scorpia smiled weakly in an attempt to initiate conversation, but Catra didn’t even notice. The drive consisted of five hours of Scorpia trying to talk to Catra to no avail. When they finally returned home, Catra walked straight into her room.

Days passed at home, and she got a knock on her door. 

“Hey, Wildcat.” 

“Go  _ away, _ Scorpia. I still don’t want to talk.”

“I brought some friends.” Scorpia explained from behind the door.

“Hey, Catra.” Catra could make out a worried tone in Glimmer’s voice.

“We wanted to check up on you.” Bow added.

“I don’t need you to check up on me. I’m fine.” Catra groaned.

Scorpia opened the door. “No, you’re not. And we’re not leaving until you agree to go out with us tonight.” 

“ _ No. _ ” Catra rolled her eyes as her three friends sat at her bedside. “She hates me. Adora hates me and it’s all my fault.” 

“Come on, I’m sure she doesn’t hate you!” Glimmer placed a hand on Catra’s shoulder.

“Yeah, if she hated you then she definitely would have told me and Glimmer!” Bow added before Glimmer shot him a glance.

“Bow.  _ Not helping. _ ”

“Sorry.” 

“What we really mean, Wildcat, is that we’re here for you and we’re gonna get you out of this rut.” 

Catra rolled over and shoved her friends off the bed. “I don’t think that’s possible.” 

“Of course it’s possible! Now get up. We’re going to get some dinner, just the four of us.” Scorpia ripped the blankets off of Catra’s bed. “Well, maybe get a shower and get changed first.  _ Then _ we’ll go.”

“Scorpia, I told you. I don’t feel like it.”

“What if we pay?

Catra grumbled, finally sitting up. “Fine. I’ll go. Are you happy now?”

“YES!” Bow yelled, wrapping the four in a big hug. “Friend outing!”

Catra groggily walked over to the bathroom and dropped her clothes, finally getting to feel the hot water on her skin for the first time in a little while. She hadn’t been showering as often, so this was actually somewhat pleasant. She could hear muffled conversation still going on in the bedroom, but let the water roll down her body. She let out a sigh of relief— the first one in months. _Maybe this could be good for me._ _Maybe I need to get out a little._ After she finished cleaning up, she threw on some leggings and a long-sleeved baseball tee. _It’s not fancy,_ she thought, _but it’s what I can muster right now._

“Is this nice enough?” She asked her friends.

Scorpia smiled. “Of course it is.”

They all hopped in Scorpia’s car, with Catra riding shotgun. Bow and Glimmer were holding hands in the back, which was kind of gross but Catra didn’t mind. She opened the window and let the cold air blow on her face.  _ I’m out of the house. Weird. _ Dinner was nice. Catra ordered pasta. It was a nice night. It wasn’t perfect, but it was a start.

“So, are you gonna come to Glimmer’s party next week?” Bow eagerly asked.

Catra shook her head. “I don’t think I’m ready for that level of commitment again.”

“Come on! It’ll be fun!” Glimmer added on. “Plus, Adora- I mean,  _ you know who _ said she couldn’t come anyway!”

“I don’t think so, Glimmer, but thank you.”

By the next week, Catra was out and about occasionally. She woke up one morning and went on a run. She finally felt like she was becoming herself again. One crisp December day, she decided to go get a hot chocolate at a local coffee shop. Pulling up to the parking lot, she stepped out of the car and locked the door. As she walked in, there were a few people already in line. She waited until everyone else had ordered, and finally stepped up to the counter.

“One medium coffee with two sugars.”

The barista took her order and the bell on the door rang, signalling that another customer had entered the building. Catra inserted her card and walked over to the counter to get her coffee nonchalantly. As she turned around, she was met with her worst nightmare.  _ Adora _ . She was standing face-to-face with the one person she did  _ not _ want to see. Catra’s face turned bright red and she instantly ran to the door, saying nothing. 

“Catra!” Adora tried to call out, but she was already gone. Catra didn’t know what to say or do or feel or think when she got in the car and drove away as fast as she could. Her phone buzzed. She took a quick glance at the screen.

_ Adora. _

_ Again? What does she want? I just started to forget about her, too!  _

Trying to not let her feelings affect her driving, she quickly deleted the message without reading it.  _ I can’t handle this anymore. _

Another text. She deleted the next one.  _ I will not go back to that place again. What makes her think that she can just… appear? Why can she come into my life when she feels like it? What’s wrong with me? Why doesn’t she want me anymore?  _

“Why doesn’t she want me anymore?” Catra spoke that last thought aloud as she got to a stop sign. Her eyes welled up with tears.  _ Stop being pathetic! _ She slammed her hands down on the wheel and called Glimmer. 

“Catra! Hey! What’s up?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I  _ am _ going to come to your party."


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> glimmer's party... catra goes!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter!!! there are more notes at the end. hope u enjoy!

Catra took a deep breath as she adjusted the collar of her shirt.  _ I’m just going to get wasted. I’m not gonna think about Adora. Wait- no. Remember what happened last time? Better not drink, then. I’m just gonna be there for my friends when they inevitably puke all over Angella and Micah’s good furniture.  _ She knocked on the door and was instantly greeted by another overwhelmingly tight group hug from Scorpia, Glimmer, and Bow. 

“You made it!” Glimmer smiled as the hug ended. Bow, who was already a little tipsy, clung to her. 

Catra shrugged. “I mean, someone’s gotta clean up after you guys get trashed.” 

Scorpia laughed and punched her arm lightly. “Of course. Now come on! Have fun! Perfuma’s here for the night and she said she wanted to talk to you!” 

Catra laughed nervously. “I’m sure I’ll see her at some point. For now, I’m just going to hang out for a while. Try not to make too much of a mess too fast, okay?”

She made her way to the couch through the sea of drunk college kids and sat down, grabbing a handful of Doritos from the table. She yawned and looked around the house— Bow was now on Glimmer’s back, Perfuma and Scorpia were getting pretty touchy-feely pretty fast, Entrapta was showing Frosta the blueprints for a new invention, and Double Trouble was chatting it up with Spinerella and Netossa. Everyone seemed like they were having a good time. Yawning, she decided to take a quick nap before she would inevitably have to take care of  _ someone _ at some point of this party. She let herself drift off to sleep, not knowing how long it would last. 

Catra was awoken abruptly as Glimmer and Bow slammed down onto the couch where she slept. It was clear that they had drank much more since she last saw them.

“Catraaaaaaa!” Bow giggled. 

Glimmer poked her cheek. “Heyyyyy Catra! Are you having fun? Scorpia said you were asleep and then we wanted to check it out and I hope you’re having a good time because I don’t want to be a bad host!”

“Yeah, Glimmer.” Catra smiled. “I am having a good time. Do you guys need some water or anything? Has anyone thrown up yet?”

“Noooooope! We’re all good on that front!” Glimmer smiled widely before kissing Bow on the cheek as he held her tight. “Thank you soooo much for coming! We appreciate you a lot!” 

“Anytime.” She got up from where she was sitting, letting Bow and Glimmer fall down and take up the whole couch. They wasted no time— by the time that Catra turned around, they were already cuddled up and whispering to each other.  _ That’s cute,  _ Catra thought, surprised by her ability to finally see PDA without being repulsed.  _ I’m happy that they found each other. _

Dodging her way through the bunches of Glimmer’s horny friends, she made it out to the front porch and sat on the large rocking chair, looking out at the stars. They were so pretty. The night brought upon a cold breeze, but Catra almost felt at peace, if not for the thump of the bass from the music playing inside. She watched the cars speed past on the road nearby as the wind shook the leafless trees. The simplicity was almost beautiful. But as if on cue, a familiar car stopped a little down the road where she could see.  _ Are you kidding? I thought she wasn’t coming!  _ Catra stood up and hurriedly walked towards the front door. 

“Catra?” Adora yelled, stepping out of her car. “Catra, please wait! Stay out here!”

“I thought you weren’t coming.” Catra snapped..

Adora continued to run towards the porch. “I came because I saw on Glimmer’s snap story that you were here. Listen, I need to talk to you. I tried texting you, but you didn’t respond, and I thought that if maybe I came here then you would listen to me.” She breathlessly reached the porch and stood right in front of Catra. “Hey.” She looked into Catra’s eyes for the first time in months. Her eyes were as beautiful as Catra remembered. 

“Hey, Adora.” Catra weakly smiled. Adora couldn’t help being mesmerizing, even while showing up to a party halfway through in a messy ponytail and sweats. 

“Listen, I know you probably think I’m a total asshole.” 

“Hmm, I wonder why?” Catra spat back. 

“I know, I know. I did some bad things and I just wanted to say- Wait. Are you drunk right now?”

“Why? Do you want to fuck me and leave me to dry for months again?”

“No! I wanted to apologize. That is, if you’re sober and willing to hear me out.” Adora pleaded. “You must be at least somewhat willing, considering you stayed out here when I asked you, but please please please listen to me. I’m begging you.”

Catra turned away.  _ Great. The tears are coming back.  _ “Why are you here?” She yelled, facing Adora for the first time since everything happened. “Why can’t you stop fucking with my life? It’s like every time I start to have a moment to myself, you show up and make everything just as terrible as the day you broke up with me! Just STOP already!” 

“Catra,” Adora put her hand on Catra’s shoulder as she too started to tear up. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Instead, she decided to hug Catra as hard as she could, openly sobbing. “I am so sorry.” She squeezed tighter. “What I did to you was  _ awful _ and you didn’t deserve any of it.”

Catra, surprised at first, hugged her back. She was also now full-on crying. She didn’t even know what to say. Adora continued while sniffling. “I thought that when I went to school I had to be my own person and that meant that I couldn’t be thinking about you all the time. Long distance sucks and I didn’t want to try it only to fail. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You haven’t left my mind once. Not once in the summer, not once at school, not once now. But I kept telling myself it was for the best. I kept telling myself that both of us would be better off alone and that I  _ couldn’t _ love you anymore. I thought that if anyone found out I hooked up with you after I broke up with you that it would ruin my reputation, but I realized that I don’t care about that. I care about  _ you _ . I love  _ you.  _ I want to be with  _ you _ .”

Catra’s eyes widened as she looked into Adora’s eyes. “You… still love me?” 

“Of course I do.” Adora wiped off her tears. “I know you probably hate me, and I totally understand that. So just say the word and I’ll leave. Tell me to fuck off and go back into the party, and I will be out of your hair forever.”

Catra stood in stunned silence. She didn’t know what to say. Adora took a deep breath and started to walk back to the car. Catra watched her go. A cold breeze chilled the air, and Adora shivered. Catra found herself running towards Adora. Turning the blond girl around where she stood, she asked a simple question: “Will it be different this time? Do you promise?”

Adora grinned. “I promise.”

So Catra kissed her. For real this time. It wasn’t sloppy, it wasn’t sexual, it wasn’t tasteless. It was the kind of kiss that changes everything— the kind of kiss that stops time. The stars shone as brightly as they did on the night of their first date, and it was as if the music and the cold and everything else no longer existed. Pulling away, Catra put her forehead to Adora’s. “You must be cold. Let’s get you inside.”

“But I look like a mess! I can’t show up to a party like this!”

Catra kissed her cheek. “Think of this as payback for being the shittiest ex ever.”

“Okay, you’re right. I deserved that.” Kissing Catra right back on the cheek, she smiled again.

Catra extended her hand and Adora took it, their fingers interlocking perfectly as they had so many times before. “Then let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that's it! that's the story. 
> 
> could u tell i was listening to betty by taylor swift when coming up with this concept lmao...  
> lmk what y'all thought! or if u wanna see something else! 
> 
> i hope this satisfied ur needs for catradora angst and-or exes-to-lovers au. <3


End file.
